Fun with Republicans

How to have fun in the age of Trump: Donate to democratic opponents of idiot republicans!

I started with Lauren Baer because she is running against the all-in total Trump sycophant Brian Mast in the congressional district a little north of me.

Then I read an asinine article in the Washington Post written by congressman William Hurd explaining the oh so patriotic reasons he voted to release the Nunes memo. That inspired me to donate to his opponent Gina Ortiz Jones.

Having mentioned Nunes, I had to donate to Andrew Janz for self evident reasons.

Then there is the idiot in charge of the house republican majority which has abandoned all interest in the rule of law or checks and balances to instead support a corrupt and probably traitorous President. I speak, of course, of Paul Ryan. His opponent is Randy Bryce. [And now Ryan has dropped out of the race. I'd like to think all the money being raised by Randy Bryce (including my small donation) played a part in that.]

And what the heck, I might as well donate to the democratic front runner for Florida governor, Gwen Graham. I always liked Bob Graham (one of the few politicians I actually felt able to vote for rather than merely voting against the other moron). Maybe Gwen learned something from him and will be just as good. Or maybe Andrew Gillum will be good instead since he won the primary, and I'm now sending him a big donation to help keep DeSatan out of the governor's office.

Read another article about republicans believing they can beat Senator Heitkamp in North Dakota. That's a good enough reason for me to donate to her campaign.

Mitt Romney is getting in the race to help save the republican majority in the senate. I obviously need to donate to Jenny Wilson. [Romney news: Romney just hit an unexpected pothole. The republican establishment refused to rubber stamp his candidacy, meaning he has to run in a republican primary against an actual Utah resident. Update: He did win the primary.]

Beto O'Rourke is running against Ted Cruz. No way I'm passing up an opportunity to donate to the man running against the greatest evil in the senate.

Ye Gods! Just read a profile in the Washington Post of the single most loathsome wannabe Trump congressman I've ever read about: Matt Gaetz. I must donate to Phil Ehr. Nope! Another bad guess. Looks like Jennifer Zimmerman won the primary. I need to send her some money now.

Woke up this morning to the story of congresswoman Claudia Tenny saying all the mass murderers turn out to be democrats. Ding! Ding! Ding! Time to lookup up her oponnent Anthony Brindisi and send him some money!

It seems inevitable that Voldemort (a.k.a. Rick Scott) will be running for senate against Bill Nelson, so I should go ahead and donate to Bill Nelson. And now that the primaries are done and the race is definitely set between Scott and Nelson, I'm sending Nelson another donation.

Now Don Young of Alaska has gotten on my radar with a line about how armed Jews would have been able to prevent the Holocaust. Had to dig up Dimitri Shein and send him some money (ironically perhaps in this political year he was born in Russia). Looks like Dimitri lost the primary, so my guess wasn't good in this race. Alyse Galvin will be the democratic opponent of Don Young in the general election, so I'd better send her some money.

OK, republican Steve King (Iowa, 4th district) is mocking the Parkland students. Time to lookup Leann Jacobsen, who appears to be the leading democratic opponent and send her some money. Another bad guess. J.D. Scholten won the democratic primary, so I need to send him some money.

Another idiot republican: Mike Bishop (Michigan 8th district) has scrubbed his web site of all gun and NRA related material. NRA? What's the NRA? Never heard of them. I had an A/A+ rating? Imagine that. What does that even mean? Clearly, I must donate to his opponent Elissa Slotkin.

Ralph Norman just brought a loaded gun to a town hall meeting to prove that guns are totally safe and fun to carry around to show how big your dick is. Time to look up Archie Parnell, running in South Carolina's 5th district and send him some money.

Apparently another hazard of donating to candidates is that other candidates find your name in FEC reports and call you up. I just got a call from David Shapiro who has recently jumped into the race against Vern Buchanan, who I hadn't heard about, but after poking around some, he seems sufficiently sleazy to donate against.

Ten at one blow! In this Washington Post article I read about a group of true blue moron republicans demanding an investigation of Hillary Clinton, apparently because more than a year later they still think she won the election. It seems to be remarkably difficult to track down the names of all the morons who signed on to this resolution (almost like some of them are embarrased by it), but by combing through several news reports, I did manage to find ten of them (some of whom have already come up on my radar previously):

Oh my! Now Dana Rohrabacher (CA 48th district) has said it should be OK to refuse to sell homes to gay people. I'll have to remember to revisit his election after the June 5th primary and donate against him if he is still on the ballot... Whew! 20 days since the primary, and they are still counting, but Hans Keirstead finally conceeded, so it looks like Harley Rouda will be running against Rohrabacher, so I've sent him a donation.

Another election to revisit after the Aug 2nd primary: Diane Black, running for governor of Tennessee, just claimed school shootings are caused by pornography. If she is still on the ballot after the primary, her democratic opponent is getting a donation from me. Yikes! Now I'm reading about Jason Emert (candidate in 2nd district) building a wall in his yard in solidarity with Trump. Need to check him out as well after the primary. [Aug 3rd has come and both Diane Black and Jason Emert lost their primaries, so there are sensible people in Tennessee].

OK, Duncan Hunter has been indicted for stealing his campaign funds and the courageous ex-marine is blaming his wife for everything. This makes it easy to add Ammar Campa-Najjar to my list of candidates to send money.

Yes, some of these might be totally quixotic campaigns, but you never know how much worse republicans will make things before the election, so it is worth a try. No doubt I'll add more names to this list in time.

And for a different kind of fun, I'm registered as a republican so I'll be able to vote in the closed republican primary here in Florida. Should be interesting this year with several candidates competing to run for governor. Hopefully I'll be able to distinguish who is the most idiotic and incompetent and see if I can help him be the one who runs against a democrat.

The Florida primaries are over, and now I know all the democrats running against republicans I'll be able to vote for in November, lets send them all some money.

And while I'm at it, let's donate to all the democrats in the toss up senate races.

(Some of these I already donated to above, but I've now given to all the new names on this list.)

Republicans are so terrified of Abigail Spanberger that they are running dirty tricks against her illegally releasing confidental files. Time to send money to a new candidate.

Post election addition! Mike Espy is in a runoff election with Cindy Hyde-Smith, who joked about wanting to be front and center for a public hanging. This is a despicable republican more than worthy to donate against.

Fair Warning

You will get on everyone's mailing list and be inundated with pleas for more donations. This is a good article about some of the mail you will surely get.

Results

So just how quixotic was this effort? Let's see:

A nearly perfect record of futility! Matches the results from practically every election I've ever voted in :-).

I guess the real lesson is that the truly despicable bottom feeding scum suckers know their voters and pander to them.